fucking the what

things are a bit uncertain, yet inevitable. and when you make up your mind, something's are already gone, whether theyre supposed to be or not. 
and then you're asking yourself, where did i go wrong? and even if you start thinking about the 'what if' in your past life, the lights are never gonna lit again. 
and before you know it, you've already drawn into the hole, hitting the rock bottom. 
cause if there's anything i learn for the past 23 years of my life, life isnt just a place where you fool around like fuck. its more complicated than a mexican drama where roberto killed someone's husband and then marry the widow just to realize that they're siblings, late enough that they already had a bastard son who then fell in love with the deceased step son *i could go on, seriously. this is more complicated and more realistic than that.
and now, i think its only human to regret things, but its only right to move forward, even if that's the most hardest thing to do.


this blog, well this is the place where i can anonymously say this things without even mentioning and care enough about what people might think. in real life, i might say that its not easy to be me, but i do know that its not easy to be anyone else in this world, regarding their stories and what have and might happened to them. we're all know, deep down we are. young and restless, yes we are.


truth is like a glass of whisky, it might be a bit too strong, but the more you drink, the more you'll be at ease. so im lying to myself if i say that things gonna work out in the end, when i know it will not get pretty, cause im only human. happiness is like a constant ray, cant really hold on to it.